TitBits

(.) (.) comedy writing nipples

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Hot and Cold - Starring a Tiny Goldfish

Setting Is in a living room

An old man is sat on a chair smoking a pipe

A young woman is sat across from him

Old man: I'm cold

The young woman bends down and switches the fire on

Pause

Old man: I'm hot

The young woman bends down and switches the fire off

Pause

Old man: I'm cold

The young woman bends down and switches the fire on

Pause

Old man: I'm hot

The young woman rolls her eyes in frustration

A man wearing a banana suit stood behind her, hits her over the head with a cucumber

Old man: I said I'm hot...

The young woman bends down and switches the fire off

Young woman: How many more hours left? I want to go home!

Old man: Only another 586 hours left. I'm cold.

The young woman turns around quickly, pulls out a gun and shoots the man in the banana suit.

The young woman then jumps out of the window She falls a long way, until eventually landing inside a gigantic fish tank

Tiny goldfish: Hello

The tiny goldfish stares longingly at the young woman

The young woman stares longingly back

Cut to church

Wedding bells are playing

The young woman walks out of the church wearing a brides outfit, with the goldfish inside a bowl clutched in her hands

A bow tie is fastened around the rim of the bowl

Young woman: (Lifts the bowl up to her face) I will always love you, my dear husband Young woman kisses the bowl.

Tiny goldfish: Love you too, my dear. So, can we have sex now?

End of Sketch
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Posted May 9, 2010