Send Him Off, Ref!
Setting is on a football park
There is a tape player sat on the side of the park The tape player is playing a recording of a crowd from a big football match There are 4 players on either side on the park The referee is wearing a halloween headband that has devil horns attached to it Number 2 from Beer United's opponents comes in with what looks to be a fair tackle on Number 4 of Beer UnitedThe referee blows his whistle The referee shows a yellow card to Number 2 Number 3 of Beer United comes running up the park with the ball at his feet He's one on one with the goalkeeper! All he has to do is shoot this past the keeper and into the goalmouth But wait! Number 3 puts his foot on the ball to stop it. He puts up his hand to gesture 'hang on a minute' and he pulls a bottle of Vodka out of his knee length football socks Number 3 then drinks the bottle of Vodka, all in one spell Cut to several minutes later Beer United are again in possession of the ball As Number 4 runs past his opponent, he stabs him with a Stanley Knife The referee runs up, and gives number 4 a telling off Cut to the second half Number 2 of Beer United is looking quite hesitant as his opponent comes running at him with the ball at his feet Number 2 is the last defender, and he must get this ball to prevent the opponent getting through Number 2 pulls a gun out of his shorts, and shoots the opponent. The opponent falls to the park in pain The referee comes running up and gives Number 2 a telling off. Still no card! Beer United's Goalkeeper looks worried, as the opponent runs at him with the ball The goalkeeper throws a mine out of his shorts onto the park ahead of him The opponent runs onto the mine There is a puff of smoke The referee runs up to the goalkeeper and gives him a telling off! Unbelievable - still no card! Cut to overview of the park Beer United's opponents are all bandaged up, head to toe. Cut to one of Beer United's opponents, who, despite the bandages and wounds, makes a brilliant tackle on Number 4 of Beer United The referee runs up and raises a red card to the opponent! The opponent is off! The opponent cannot believe it! The opponent walks slowly off the park, shaking his head in dismay Cut to the referee The referee is stood motionless in the park The referee blows his whistle for full time The referee takes out a gun from his pocket He puts the gun to his head, and pulls the trigger The referee drops to the park Number 4 from Beer United runs up to the referee Number 4 raises a yellow card at the referee End of sketchSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
