What are Laws???
Setting is inside an electrical store
A man enters holding a box
The store manager is stood behind the counter
Store Manager: Can I help you?
Man: I’d like to return this please
Store Manager: Why, what’s wrong with it?
The store manager takes the box from the man
Man: Well, it’s a drill I purchased from you yesterday. You see, I got it out today and for some reason it won’t switch on.
Store Manager: How nice. Good day! Next!
Man: Er…I’m sorry…I’d like a refund, please?
Store Manager: Well you can’t
Man: Well why not?
Store Manager: Because I don’t believe in them
Man: Well I’m sorry, but under consumer law
Store Manager: (Interrupts) Oh don’t start with all that crap! We don’t live by the rules anymore!
Man: And what is that supposed to mean?
Store Manager: It means what it says! We don’t have rules!
Man: But everybody has rules!
Store Manager: (Puts his arm around the man) My friend, do you realise what happened as soon as you stepped through that door, hmmm?
Man: Er…should i?
The store manager walks over to a lever and pulls it. A mysterious looking wall suddenly opens, revealing two men, stood there, dressed in Viking outfits
Store Manager: Watch and learn, watch and learn…
The store manager narrates
Narration: As you can see, here we have two men. One has a gun in his pocket - one hasn’t…
Viking 1: Give me all of your money, punk!
Viking 2: No!
Viking 1 raises his pistol at the man and shoots
Viking 2 drops on the floor, lifeless.
A policeman enters wearing a dildo strapped to his head
Policeman: ‘Ello ello ello! What do we have here then!
Viking 1: Just a dead body sir. I shot him.
Policeman: Good lad, good lad…well, I’ll be off then. You don’t need me anymore. In fact, nobody does – because here in BreastLand nobody needs us anymore! Fuck the law!
Viking 1: What’s law?
The policeman and Viking 1 laugh
Policeman: Hahahahahhaha, good one! Good one!
The policeman exits
Viking 1 exits
A man wearing nothing but a pink thong and carrying a pink teddy bear enters
Thong man: (Runs up to the wall opening) Now fuck off!
Cut to electrical store
Store manager: See? We don’t believe in laws
Man: So you wouldn’t mind if I did this then?
The man revs up a chainsaw and laughs rather menacingly at the store manager
End of Sketch
